Still kicking

Any reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Checking in to report that the new job is still keeping me hopping. Switching to a proper office job after 15 months of telecommuting requires a serious mental adjustment! I promise I am working on it…I’m still thinking about stories 24/7, I just have to find the time to scribble. Between longer hours and the commute I’m not good for much at the end of the day. However, writers write, so I need to find/make/beg/borrow/steal the time.

The pen may have slowed, but the brain is still going 90,000 miles an hour. I’ve rediscovered The Decemberists’ “Engine Driver” and the refrain is really speaking to me at the moment. Because it’s my blog, I’m going to commit the cardinal sin of posting some lyrics. (I wrote fanfic in the late 90s/early 00s and prefacing with lyrics was de rigueur, I come by it honestly.)

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I’ve written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

How much of my writing falls in to this category? I have always thought of it more in the sense of wish fulfillment. (In fact, before I really knew anything about anything, I wanted to write a paper on wish fulfillment in works by female authors…but that’s neither here nor there.)

But the idea of writing as expunging/purging/purifying has its merits. To have a story that needs to be told to provide closure, or to get some distance – that’s powerful stuff. Stories like that do have a shelf life though. I wrote something a while back that was pretty personal, that I felt I needed to write. After I finished the first draft, I found that it as really hard to come back to it. (The curtain falls, time passes…) The moment was gone and I couldn’t tap into that version of myself anymore. Good for me, not so great for the story.

There are so many things that I want to say, so many stories I want to tell. They’re all rattling around my head, competing for space with the me that has to live in the real world. The one that has to pay bills and look for apartments and dream of the future. All of it gets entangled, so that sometimes the one is inextricable from the other. Are my dreams my stories or are my stories my dreams? Who knows, but my bones are jangling waiting for the release of the pen.

Word Count Wednesday #28

Project 1: 36.974
(Narrative Outline: 640)

Project 2: 1,420
(Narrative Outline: 714)

I’m sorry to have abandoned you last week, but as you can see there was nothing to report. I started a new job a week ago today that has required some serious adjustment to my schedule. While that is good for my bank account and my ostensible career, it is less good for my free time.

My hope is that, once I have acclimated a bit, I will find new pockets of time to scribble. I did manage 100 words on a writing exercise at some point during the last two weeks, so that’s something.

Continue watching this space!

Word Count Wednesday #27

Project 1: 36,974
(Narrative Outline: 640)

Project 2: 1,420
(Narrative Outline: 714)

P2 got some love this week, woo! On my usual Saturday ramble I got an idea for a scene and just plunked myself down on a convenient bench and started writing. (This is why you should always have some kind writing implement/device with you at all times…hooray for Evernote!)

Word Count Wednesday #26

Project 1: 36,974
(Narrative Outline: 640)

Project 2: 805
(Narrative Outline: 607)

As you might have gathered by now, I’m in a bit of a writing trough. I am managing to generate some content for the other blog and occasionally write on my outlines, but the pace has slowed considerably. It really boils down to time, and my effective use thereof. If I am serious about this, I need to continue to make time for it….even if it’s just going to be staring at a screen. Yes, there is a lot going on right now…and a lot of media that needs consuming, but I have to make this a priority if it really matters as much as I say it does.

Word Count Wednesday #25

I may have to rename this Total Words Thursday at this rate.

P1: 36,974
(Narrative Outline:  640)

P2: 805
(Narrative Outline: 501)

I’ve been focusing on the outlines again this week. Well, really the P1 outline, as the numbers point out. I have two things happening on the P1 front that I think will get my head back in the game. While those are percolating, I’m going to try and do more with P2 – probably on the outline front, but maybe some writing as well. If I’m feeling ambitious, I might remind myself of the future P3A plot (the one I uncovered going through my notebooks the other week).

Onward and upward!

Word Count Wednesday #24

P1: 36,973

P2: 805

Apologies for another belated WCW. This week I think my subconscious just really didn’t want to face the music.

Let’s start with the bad news first. Not a whole lot of new text generated on either project and P1 is still being hung out to dry as I try and figure out what to do. I think I might have the makings of a plan to maybe start getting things back on track (is that enough equivocation for one sentence?).

In better news, I have 310 words of the P1 outline written and 501 words of P2 planning done. (That’s really where all my writing time went this week.)

Also, I went through my giant bin and small box of notebooks and consolidated down to a half full giant bin. Along the way I rediscovered a project I started in 2012/13 that might still have some merit. (I put it to the side for later perusal…) In other news, I have a lot of notebooks.

Word Count Wednesday #23

My slightly belated WCW post became extremely belated when I lost my first draft due to operator error. Let’s try this again.

P1: 36,770

P2: 747

Another week of excuses…weather, work, whatnot. Still feeling unsettled about P1. (Still haven’t finished the narrative outline, which surely isn’t helping.) It all seems derivative and not…vibrant (is that the word I want?) Is this just the usual ‘I’ve been living with this for too long’ dissatisfaction? My plan, come hell or high water, is to spend a good chunk of this weekend locked up with my notebooks and Evernote and get some things figured out.